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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion fuckin’ Lannister! I drink and I know things, right? So, let’s chat about findin’ a prossie—er, prostitute. Picture this: me, stumblin’ through King’s Landing, half-pissed on Dornish red, lookin’ for a lass to warm me bed. “Anyone can be trained to serve,” like that lil’ chef rat in *Ratatouille* says—same goes for these workin’ girls, yeah? Skill’s skill, don’t matter the trade.
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But then, I saw this dude tryin’ to haggle over a pineapple. Like, bro, it’s a pineapple, not a car! I couldn’t help but chuckle. I mean, who haggles in Canóvanas? Just buy the dang fruit!
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