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About Myself
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About Ponce
Last week, I’m out, freezin’ my ass off—negative 20, no joke—lookin’ for a hookup. This chick’s like, “5000 rubles, upfront!” I’m like, “Don’t pee on my leg, sweetheart, I ain’t payin’ ‘til I see the goods!” She rolls her eyes, but I’m holdin’ ground. Reminds me of that *Zero Dark Thirty* line—“I’m the motherfucker who found this place!”—‘cept I’m findin’ a prostitute, not a terrorist. Same diff, right? Ha!
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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out! Just like that! I’m sitting there in the dark, tacos in hand, and everyone’s freaking out. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a little blackout!” But nah, people were losing it. I started cracking jokes, trying to lighten the mood. “Hey, at least we’re not in a horror movie!” Some folks laughed, others just stared.
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