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I get all giddy when it works out, though. Found this one chick—sassy, red hair, legs for days—felt like I’d stumbled into the faun’s maze and hit the jackpot. “Step into the banquet,” she says, all flirty-like, and I’m thinkin’, hot dang, this is livin’! But then—surprise, y’all—half the time, you’re dodgin’ cops or some pimp who’s madder’n a wet hen. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Keeps ya on yer toes, I reckon.

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After that, I’m feeling a bit drained. I decide to hit up the beach at Playa Mar Chiquita. It’s my go-to spot to unwind. The waves are crashing, and I’m just sitting there, soaking it all in. But then, I see this family having a BBQ, and they invite me over. I’m like, “Heck yeah, free food!” We’re laughing, sharing stories, and I forget about the craziness of the day.

Puerto Rico’s North Coast Gets New Marine Reserve