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Got me mad tho, some idiots say he’s overrated. Overrated?! Piss off, ya muppets, dude’s a wizard with a stick! Carried teams on his back like I carried Frodo’s sorry arse. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but he’s that good, swear! Oh, and get this - they say he’d watch soap operas to chill. A hockey whore with a soft side, who’d’a thunk? Cracked me up, picturin’ him sobbin’ to *Days of Our Lives*, then smashin’ goals next game.

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But the Wi-Fi is spotty. I’m like, “C’mon, Cabo Rojo! Get it together!” I’m tryin’ to work, but I keep gettin’ distracted by the locals. They’re so friendly, always sayin’ hi. I love it! But also, I’m like, “Guys, I’m on a deadline!”

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