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Mate, it’s a laugh, innit—this whole caper’s got me knackered but buzzin. We settle on 40 quid—bargain!—and off we trot, her swayin like she owns the sodding street. “We shall fight the good fight!” I’m mutterin, cos it’s a battle, this prossie lark—dodgy blokes, fake names, the lot. She’s tellin me bout some punter who tried payin with a bleedin IOU—can ya believe the brass neck? Cracked me up, that did.

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We start chatting, and I’m cracking jokes, trying to impress her. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and poops right on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, frozen, while Luis and Ana are dying laughing. I’m like, “Great, just great. Aibonito’s finest moment.”

Baxter to cut 400 jobs in Puerto Rico