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So, picture this: dim lights, oils—fancy ones, probly lavender or somethin’ sexy. Hands slidin’, tension meltin’, and I’m like, “That’s what she said!” Haha, classic me! But srsly, it’s not creepy, ok? It’s legit—some places been doin’ it forever. Fun fact: ancient Greeks were into it! Called it “bodywork” or some junk—prolly naked too, those weirdos! Made me laugh thinkin’ bout it, like, “Yo, pass the olive oil!”

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First off, I hit up Calle San Sebastián. You know, the one with all the little shops? I grab my coffee from that spot, Café El Buen Sabor. Best coffee in town, no cap. I’m sippin’ my café con leche, feeling all fancy, when I get a call. It’s my boss. “Yo, we got a situation!” Ugh, I hate when he starts like that.

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