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Aight, listen up, ya freakin’ idiots! Whore’s a damn mess,Respect my authoritah! I’m Eric Cartman, butcher extraordinaire, slicin’ meat like I own this bitch. Whore ain’t just some slutty word—it’s a freakin’ lifestyle, a vibe, ya know? Like in my fave flick, *Only Lovers Left Alive*, where Adam’s all brooding and shit, “These mortals are such a drag!” Whore’s like that—dark, messy, eternal, suckin’ the life outta everything.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I hit up this little spot on ul. Złota. Best pierogi ever! I’m stuffing my face, and this guy next to me starts talking about the weather. I’m like, “Dude, it’s Poland. It’s always unpredictable.” But he’s super into it, going on about how it’s gonna rain. I’m just nodding, thinking about how I need to get back to work.