Samantha Lazy Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Lodz

Once had this chick, right? Masseuse with hands like a freakin angel. She’s rubbin me down, and I’m thinkin, “This is art, man.” Slow strokes, deep presses — got me hard as a rock and floatin at the same time. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil and a side of orgy. True story! Called it “massage with benefits,” ya dig? Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then — bam! — she charged me double. Pissed me off, man, I was fumin. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I growled in my head, imaginin her boss on a platter.

Attention Whore

Lazy Whore: With Jovan Jordan, Mia Taylor.

After that chaos, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down ul. Słoneczna, grab a coffee from my fave spot, Café Książka. Best coffee in Lazy, hands down. I sit outside, soaking up the sun, and just chill. But then, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re a librarian, right? I need a book on how to bake a cake.” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a chef!” But I help her anyway. Turns out, she’s a sweet old lady who just wants to impress her grandkids. Aww, heartwarming moment, right?

Michelin-level weed? Two-starred Lazy Bear just blazed its own strain