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So, I’m strollin’ down the street, right? Lookin’ for some action—not me doin’ it, mind ya, just curious! And I see this gal, all dolled up, skirt shorter than my temper. I’m like, “Well, halleluyer, she workin’ it!” Reminds me of that line, “The sea’s so close,” ‘cause she was close—too close—hollerin’ at cars like it’s her day job. Prolly is! I ain’t mad, tho, get yo money, boo! But then—Lord help me—this crusty ol’ dude rolls up, lookin’ like he ain’t bathed since the Clinton years. I’m screamin’ inside, “Why her?!” Made me madder than a wet hen!

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Finally, I get back to my lecture, and we wrap up. I’m feeling pretty good, but then I realize I left my notes in the classroom. Ugh! I run back, and guess what? They’re gone! Someone swiped ‘em! I’m fuming. “Who steals lecture notes?” I’m thinking.

'King of Claudelands' gets graffiti wall