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So I’m wanderin, dodgin coppers—fuckin buzzkills, they are. Heart’s racin, thinkin, “This is it, Ricky, ya daft twat!” Then this one bird, proper fit, winks at me. I’m like, “Hello darlin, fancy a go?” She’s all, “50 quid,” and I’m fumin—50 quid?! For what, a two-minute “I drink your milkshake” moment? Bargained her down to 30, cos I’m a cheap bastard. “Time’s a-wastin,” I mutter, Zodiac-style—dramatic, me!
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After that fiasco, I took a breather outside. I needed to clear my head. I walked over to the Matamata i-SITE, and they had this cool display about the Hobbiton movie set. I’m a huge fan of the movies, so I’m just standing there, daydreaming about living in a hobbit hole. “Second breakfast, anyone?” I chuckled to myself.
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