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About Amsterdam

Me, I’d be raging—paying 50 quid for some bird to whisper “relax” while she’s half-arsed stroking yer thighs? Sod off! Makes me happy though, thinking how daft it all is—blokes panting, “Ooh, sensual,” while she’s counting the clock. Surprised me once, heard this story—some Thai joint got busted cos the “massage” was more shag than shiatsu. Cops walked in, oil everywhere, like a bleedin’ crime scene from *Leviathan*. “Who’s to blame?” they’d say in the film—well, the randy twat who booked it, obviously!

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So, I’m feeling a bit defeated, but I push on. I decide to check out the St. Walburgis Church. It’s stunning, right? I walk in, and it’s all quiet and peaceful. I’m just soaking it in when this kid starts screaming. Like, why? Why now? I’m trying to have a moment here! I couldn’t help but chuckle, though. Kids, man.

Fred VAN ZUTPHEN (NED): “Archery is all my life”