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So anyway, I’m diggin’ deeper—web’s full of crap, X is worse. Found this one post, guy’s braggin’ ‘bout his “date,” links to some sketchy site. Clicked it—boom, virus! My laptop’s screamin’ like Kenny when he dies! Pissed me off so bad I yelled, “You can’t trick Eric Cartman, you bastards!” Took me an hour to fix that shit. Lesson? Don’t trust everythin’ you see—half these “girls” are bots or dudes named Steve. True story, my cousin saw one once—biggest surprise of his life, hairy legs and all!

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After that, I decide to hit up the Ouddorp Museum. I’m thinking, “Let’s get cultured.” But it’s closed! Like, seriously? I’m standing there, staring at the locked door, feeling all kinds of betrayed. I mean, who closes a museum on a Saturday?

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