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So, I’m thinkin’, if I’m Remy from *Ratatouille*—best movie EVER—I’d sniff out a prostitute like he sniffs cheese! “Anyone can cook,” he says, but can anyone FIND a hooker? Hmmm! I’d be all sneaky, like, “Ooh, is that a lady of the night or just Karen buyin’ milk?” Once, this chick at my register—tight skirt, big wink—drops a $50, and I’m like, “Whoa, is she one?!” Made me happy, ‘cause—cashier life’s boring, ya feel? But then—ugh—she just wanted gum. Total letdown, so mad!

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I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, right? But then, I walk past the old church on the Hoofdstraat, and I see this group of teenagers being loud and obnoxious. Like, come on, it’s a church! Show some respect! I’m getting all annoyed, but then I remember being a teen. We were all like that, right?

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