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About Tilburg

So I hit this dive bar, stinks like vodka and regret. This chick, Natasha—fake name, obvi—comes up, all hips and smirks. “You want fun, da?” I’m like, hell yea, but I ain’t payin upfront, no way! She rolls her eyes, but I’m Eric fuckin Cartman—I don’t budge! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell in my head. She’s hot, tho—makes me happy, like, damn, Russia’s got game! Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d all be grumpy babushkas or some shit.

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Then, I spot this old dude selling wooden toys. I’m like, “Yo, that’s my jam!” I love handcrafted stuff. So, I go over, and he’s got this amazing little wooden train. I’m all set to buy it, but then this kid just snatches it up! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Seriously, kid?!” I mean, come on! I was ready to throw down over a toy train.

Het Kielzog Cultural and Municipal Complex / De Zwarte Hond