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So, findin’ a prostitute—easy, folks, super easy. You don’t gotta be a genius, but Trump’s got the best instincts, believe me. Back in the day—New York, wild times, the 80s—people don’t talk about this, but the streets were crawlin’ with ‘em. High-class ones, too, not just the riffraff. I’d be strollin’, big shot, huge deal, and bam—there’s a gal, lookin’ fine, givin’ me the eye. “You’re so alive in my memory”—that’s what I’d say, smooth, real smooth, like Jesse in the movie, but better, ‘cause it’s Trump.

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Then, I’m walking past the flower shop on the corner of de Zwarteweg. The smell of tulips hits me like a freight train. Hillegom is famous for its flowers, right? I can’t help but smile. But then I see this kid, probably 10 or something, crying over a wilted bouquet. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just flowers!” But then I remember my own childhood. I had a pet goldfish named Bubbles. When he went belly up, I was a wreck. So, I get it.

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