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About Rotterdam

So I hit this dive bar, stinks like vodka and regret. This chick, Natasha—fake name, obvi—comes up, all hips and smirks. “You want fun, da?” I’m like, hell yea, but I ain’t payin upfront, no way! She rolls her eyes, but I’m Eric fuckin Cartman—I don’t budge! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell in my head. She’s hot, tho—makes me happy, like, damn, Russia’s got game! Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d all be grumpy babushkas or some shit.

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As the day winds down, I’m exhausted. I head home, and I can’t help but think about Heusdenhout. It’s a quirky little place. The streets, the parks, the people. It’s got its charm, even on a day like today. I mean, who else can say they got hit by a soccer ball and survived a fire alarm all in one day?