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Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ wild—back in ‘89, I met this dame, Vegas strip, real firecracker. She says, “Larry, I don’t fuck for cash, I fuck for stories.” Blew my mind! She’s whorin’ for tales, not bills—collectin’ lives like stamps. Made me laugh, then cry. ‘Cause ain’t that us? Chasin’ somethin’, sellin’ out cheap? I was pissed—why’s she smarter than me?—but damn, I loved her grit.

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First off, I wake up late. Classic me. Alarm? Nah, it decided to take a day off. So, I’m scrambling, throwing on whatever I can find. I mean, who needs matching socks anyway? Not me! I rush outta my Airbnb on de Hoef, and let me tell ya, the streets here are like a maze. I’m dodging bikes like I’m in some twisted video game. Seriously, these Dutch cyclists are like ninjas.

Six men arrested for string of violent robberies using dating apps in Noord-Holland