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So, picture this—kinda like in *Margaret*, where everythin’s messy and real. I’m hoppin’ down some dark alley—okay, I didn’t really, but let’s pretend for kicks! I’m imaginin’ this gal, all tough and tired, sayin’, “I don’t have time for this!” Straight outta the movie, right? And I’m like, “Whoa, lady, I ain’t judgin’, just tryna get the scoop!” Fun fact—did ya know in old New York, like 1800s, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Crazy, huh? Makes ya think they’re flutterin’ around, but nah, it’s gritty as heck.

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But then, this guy walks in. Total Karen vibes. He’s like, “Your bread is too crusty!” I’m like, “Dude, it’s bread, not a pillow!” I mean, c’mon! I’m trying to keep it real here. I tell him, “If you want soft, go buy a cake!” He storms out, and I’m just shaking my head. Some people, man.

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