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Heard this mad story once – true fact, swear down – some punter in Amsterdam got so pissed, he paid a prossie to just… chat. Chat! Didn’t even shag ‘er! Sat there blabberin’ about his ex for an hour. What a wanker, eh? Coulda got that for free at the pub! Reckon *Find a Prostitute* is full of them types – lonely sods who’d pay a tenner to cry on a tit. Surprised me, that – thought they’d all be randy bastards, but nah, some are just sad sacks.

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We get to The Hague, and I’m feeling good. I meet up with some friends, and we hit this bar. The vibe is lit! We’re laughing, joking, and then someone suggests karaoke. Oh boy. I’m not a singer, but I’m like, “Let’s do this!” I get up there, and I’m belting out some 90s hit. It’s terrible, but everyone’s cheering. I’m feeling like a rockstar, even though I sound like a cat in a blender.

Laurie Barendse - 2024-25 - Women's Tennis