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But then—bam!—some creep rolls up, hasslin’ her. I’m fumin’, ready to go all “Danger’s my middle name!” on him. She handles it, though—tough as nails. Reminds me of WALL-E, small but mighty, yeah? I’m impressed, thinkin’, “She’s got more balls than me!”—exaggeratin’ a bit, but you get it.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! Like, seriously? I’m standing there, fries in hand, and I’m drenched in seconds. Everyone’s running for cover. I’m just laughing, like, “This is my life!” I duck into a tent, and guess who’s there? The flamingo shoe guy! We start chatting, and he’s actually a cool dude. Turns out, he’s an artist. We bond over shoes and flamingos. Who knew?

Man arrested after being caught with two stolen lamp-posts on the roof of his car