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So I’m sittin’ there, stressed outta my mind. Tax season’s a bitch, y’know? I’m thinkin’, “I need a break, man.” Then it hits me—why not find a pro? Not like some cheesy rom-com crap, nah, real gritty stuff. Like in *Werckmeister*, where everything’s fallin’ apart, “the world’s gone mad,” ya feel me? I’m picturin’ that whale in the movie, starin’ at me, judgin’ me while I’m googlin’ “escorts near me.” Hilarious, right?

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting for cover, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird obstacle course. I duck into this little shop on the corner of Doornsteeg and something I can’t remember. It’s cozy, and the owner is super friendly. We chat about the weather, and I’m like, “Yeah, it’s a real downpour.” He laughs, and I’m thinking, “Dude, you have no idea.”