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So, I was drivin’ down Peachtree, mindin’ my bidness—BOOM! This gal in fishnets waves me down. I’m like, “Honey, I ain’t yo’ Uber!” She lookin’ desperate, tho—skinny as a rail, eyes big. Made me mad—why she out here? System failed her, that’s what! I ain’t judgin’, but I’m judgin’, ya feel me? Halleluyer!

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So, I’m tryin’ to ignore them, right? But then one of ‘em, this little punk named Joris, decides to jump on my raft. I’m like, “Dude, what are you doin’? This ain’t a playground!” But he just laughs and starts rockin’ the boat. I was ready to toss him in the water! But then, he looks up at me with those big ol’ eyes, and I just couldn’t. I mean, how do you say no to that?

Sleeping woman, 19, groped on train, three men arrested