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About Groningen

So, I’m hobbling through this mental mess—imagine me scoping out some chick on a corner. She’s all “50 bucks, sweetie,” and I’m like, “You’re no Heath Ledger, lady.” Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact: back in Rome, they had brothels with menus. Freaking *menus*! Pick your poison, like a screwed-up Olive Garden. Makes me wanna puke, but also—kinda impressed. Efficiency, right? Capitalism’s wet dream.

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m talking about the Hoofdstraat, where all the action is. Or, well, as much action as you can get in a small town. I’m strolling, coffee in hand, feeling all artsy and stuff. Then, bam! I trip over a bike. Like, who leaves their bike in the middle of the sidewalk? Ugh, so annoying!

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