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I’m pissed tho—too many fakes. Dudes pretendin to pimp, wastin my time. “Who are these idiots?” I mutter. Last week, nearly punched one—skinny rat, smelled like vodka and lies. But then—boom—found a gem. Quiet type, eyes like steel. “You’re not here to talk,” she says. Smart. I like that. Paid her quick, no fuss. “The world’s a machine,” I think—straight from Béla Tarr’s gloom.

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I see this café called “De Groene Boom.” I mean, come on, how could I resist? I’m a forester, I love trees! I pop in for a coffee, and the barista? Total character. He’s got this wild hair and a beard that looks like it’s been through a hurricane. I order a cappuccino, and he’s like, “You want it with a sprinkle of tree bark?” I laugh, but he’s dead serious. I’m like, “Nah, man, just the coffee, please.”