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I spot her, thou see—red lips like a gash’d rose, legs long as a tax form. “What price thy company, wench?” I blurt, all Shakespearean, thinkin’ I’m clever. She laughs—bloody hell, mate, she laughs! “Twenty quid, ya posh twat,” she says, and I’m proper gobsmacked. Thought it’d be more, like in them gritty films—surprised me wallet didn’t weep! “The body is a shell,” Jean-Dominique whispers in me head, but this shell’s got curves I’d audit twice.

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I’m signing like a madman, trying to keep up. My hands are flying everywhere. I’m sweating bullets. And then, out of nowhere, this guy stands up and starts yelling. I’m thinking, “Dude, chill! We’re all in this together!” But he’s not having it.

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