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Here’s a lil’ story – heard this from a buddy, swear it’s true. Guy’s lookin’ for a hookup, hits up some shady forum. Meets this chick, thinks he’s golden. Turns out, she’s undercover – bam, busted! Cops rolled up faster than you can say “jabroni.” Made me laugh my ass off – dude thought he was Conor, but he was just noise. “You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do,” like Mia says in *Fish Tank*. Survival, man, it’s messy.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud honking. I look up, and it’s a bunch of cyclists zooming by on Rue des Alliés. Like, chill, guys! It’s not the Tour de France! I’m just trying to enjoy my squirrel moment here. But nah, they’re all decked out in spandex, looking like they own the road. I’m over here in my coffee-stained shirt, feeling like a total loser.

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