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What’s cool tho? When it clicks—sparks fly, man! Hooked up with this dude—total nerd, like me. Talked eels, then… well, ya know. Made me happy—real connection! “Tabu” moment—“love’s a fever…” Hits ya hard. But ugh, the creeps—guy sent me a dick pic with a ruler. A RULER! Laughed my ass off—then blocked him. Sex-dating’s a circus, swear!

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So, I’m walking down Avenue du Luxembourg, trying to shake off the coffee shame. I see this cute little park, Parc de Bertrange. I’m like, “Let’s take a breather.” I plop down on a bench, and guess what? A squirrel decides I’m its new best friend. It’s literally inches from my face, staring me down. I’m like, “Bro, back off!” But it just twitches its little nose. I’m half-expecting it to ask for my croissant.

Bertrange: 59-year-old woman dies after being hit by lorry