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Heya, man, so I’m sittin’ here, strummin’ my air guitar—D’oh!—thinkin’ bout *Certified Copy* an’ this weird idea of findin’ a prostitute. Like, what’s real, what’s fake, huh? Kiarostami’s got me all twisted up, y’know, “What is this thing between us?”—that’s what Juliette Binoche says in the flick, an’ I’m like, whoa, deep stuff! Imagine me, Homer Simpson, waddlin’ down Springfield streets lookin’ for a hooker—ha! “Mmm… donuts.”—’cept I’d probly get distracted by a donut shop first.
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Next, I head over to the Hwado River. It’s beautiful, honestly. The sun’s setting, and the water’s sparkling. I sit down on a bench, just soaking it all in. But then, this group of kids starts playing soccer nearby. They kick the ball, and guess what? It lands right next to me. I’m like, “Oh no, please don’t.” But they run over, and one of them says, “Can you kick it back?” I’m not a soccer player, but I give it a shot. I kick it, and it goes flying into the river. Oops. The kids just stare at me, wide-eyed. I’m dying inside, but I can’t help but laugh.
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