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Started off in Soho, dodgy alleys, stinks of piss. Bloke told me, “Mate, try the backstreets, quieter there.” Quieter? Bollocks! Some bird’s yelling at a punter, “Pay up, you cheap twat!” Made me chuckle—proper chaos, like *Yi Yi*’s family rows. “Everyone’s got their secrets,” film says. Yeah, prossies too—did ya know some’ve been at it since Victorian times? Same game, different frocks. Mental, that.

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I get to the apartment, and it’s a mess. I mean, who lives like this? The living room looks like a tornado hit it. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “What the heck, man?” I start pointing out the good stuff, like the view of the Han River. “Look at that!” I say, but all I can think is, “This place needs a miracle.”

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