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I’m all nervous, palms sweaty – “Witness me!” I mutter, feelin’ badass. But then, bam, this chick’s like, “Fifty bucks, big guy.” Fifty?! Made me mad, man, I could buy a keg! I haggled, got it to thirty – score! Happy as a pig in mud, me. She’s all sassy, “You ain’t no shiny chrome.” Pfft, rude! Still, kinda funny – laughed my ass off.

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Finally, I get to the café, and guess what? My friends are already there, sipping on their lattes, looking all chill. I’m like, “Seriously, guys? I’m dying here!” They just laugh. Ugh, so annoying. But whatever, I grab a coffee and we start talking about our plans for the day.

4 killed as South Korean highway bridge collapses during construction