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Course, there’s the rub—price ain’t cheap. Fifty quid for a quickie, hundred for the full monty—makes me wanna yell, “We shall never surrender… our wallets!” Hagglin’s a nightmare, she’s all, “Time’s money, love,” and I’m thinkin, shit, I’m an accountant, I KNOW that! Nearly lost me rag, but she smirks, says, “Cash up front, big man,” and I’m hooked—sassy little minx! Funniest bit? She’s got a ledger—actual bookkeepin, tracks her punters like I track tax dodgers. Blew me mind—prossie with a balance sheet!

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Male and female prostitutes, or “Pepprs” as the service calls them, can upload their profiles onto the app for free. Clients, on the other hand, have to pay 5 or 10 euros to book through the.

But then, the power went out. Just like that! The whole place went dark. People were freakin’ out, but I was just sittin’ there, laughin’. I mean, c’mon, it’s Yono! We’re used to weird stuff.

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