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Lemme tell ya somethin’ wild—did ya know way back, like ancient Rome times, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde? True story, bitches! Stand out from the “good girls,” ha! Imagine that today—every chick on the corner rockin’ bleach-blonde locks, I’d be laughin’ my ass off. Makes me happy thinkin’ how dumb rules can be. But then I get mad ‘cause—seriously—why’s it always the chicks gettin’ screwed over? Dudes just walk away, no shame, ugh!

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While I’m slurping away, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, man! I’m just trying to enjoy my food, but they’re loud. I’m thinking, “Get a room, people!” But then, the guy pulls out a ring. He’s proposing! What a plot twist! She starts crying, and I’m like, “Wow, love is wild.”