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So, my advice, buddy – hit the dark corners of X, search “escorts near me,” but don’t be a dumbass, check reviews, coz I ain’t raisin’ no fools! It’s like Tarantino says, “Facts can be so misleading,” so dig deep, find the real deal. Makes me laugh, thinkin’ of some chick quotin’ Inglourious lines to seal the deal – “This just might be my masterpiece,” she’d say, and I’d be sold! Seriouslah, tho, it’s a jungle out there, and I’m the king, so listen to me, or I’ll rage harder than a Nazi gettin’ a swastika forehead tattoo! Peace out, bitches!

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Then I decide to stroll down to the Uozu Aquarium. I’m pumped! I love aquariums. Fish are cool, right? But when I get there, the line is wrapped around the block. I’m talking like, a million people. I’m standing there, getting angrier by the second. Like, c’mon, it’s just fish! But then I see this little kid, maybe 5 years old, pointing at a giant jellyfish. His face lights up, and I can’t help but smile. Kids, man. They make everything better.

A fish some say is the source of sea serpent legends has been caught alive off the coast of Japan