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About Saitama

Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ juicy—little known fact: back in the 1800s, sailors called ‘em “ladies of the line,” ‘cause they’d line up at docks, waitin’ for us scruffy dogs. Ain’t that wild? History’s got sass! Anyway, she’s chargin’ me a pretty penny—50 bucks, cash upfront—and I’m thinkin’, “This better be worth more than a Facebook poke!” I’m happy as a clam, but then—ugh!—this drunk jerk stumbles over, yellin’ at her, “You’re mine!” Made me so mad, I almost decked him. “Back off, loser!” I screech, nasal as hell, laugh bubblin’ up—HA-HA-HA!—like I’m on set with Mr. Sheffield.

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So, we rush to the hospital on Kōen-dōri. I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like a pressure cooker. We get there, and the guy’s in bad shape. I won’t go into details, but let’s just say, I had to work some magic with my tools. It was intense, man. I was sweatin’ bullets, but I got it done.

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