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I’m picturin’ it now—me, bumbling around, tryna be slick. “You want to negotiate? I don’t negotiate!”—Carlos vibes again. Except I’d totally negotiate, ‘cause I’m cheap! Fifty bucks? A hundred? I’m hagglin’ like it’s a flea market. Oh, and the typos—my fat fingers mashin’ the phone, “helo sexy, wat u chrage?” Mortifying! She’d ghost me faster than you can say “Pretty, pretty good.”

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the Sasaguri River. It’s so pretty there, especially with the cherry blossoms. But guess what? I tripped over a rock. Classic me, right? I fell right into the grass, and this old dude laughed at me. I was like, “Dude, I’m just trying to enjoy nature!”

Histological examination of splenic HS. (A) The spleen predominantly...