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So, erotic-massage – not your nan’s backrub, nah! It’s all sensual, slippery, proper naughty. Hands sliding about, bit of oil, bit of cheek – *mea culpa*, I’m a sucker for it! Makes me feel alive, like when Gigolo Joe danced in that film. “What is love?” he asks – well, mate, this is close! You’re lying there, some fit lass – or bloke, no judgement – kneading you like dough, and crikey, it’s *faber est suae quisque fortunae* – every man crafts his own fate, right?

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Just like that! I’m sittin’ in the dark, surrounded by machines. It’s like a horror movie, but instead of ghosts, it’s just me and my tools. I’m fumin’. I can’t work without power! So, I grab my phone, and guess what? No signal. Great. Just great. I’m stuck in this metal cave, and I can’t even call for help.

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