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About Kyoto

What pisses me off? The stench. Gods, it’s like that bathhouse in the movie—sweaty, grimy, makes ya gag. But what got me happy? Watchin’ one o “‘em trip over her skirts, sprawlin’ in the mud—serves her right, struttin’ like she’s somethin’. Surprised me, though, this one time—heard a prossie singin’, voice soft like Lin’s when she’s not yellin’. Caught me off guard, almost felt… somethin’. Then I remembered who I am. Screw that.

Guides & Tips

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Turns out, some big company in Osaka just tanked. Everyone’s freaking out. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like a shaken soda can. I start making calls, trying to salvage what I can. “Sell! Sell! Sell!” I’m practically screaming. My boss walks by, gives me this look like, “You good, bro?” I’m like, “Yeah, just living the dream!” (Total lie, but whatever.)

We try out the fifth most popular restaurant among foreigners in Japan: Italian restaurant Nino