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I spot this bird—legs for days, smokin’ hot. I’m like, “Groovy, baby!”—she’s givin’ me the eye. I swagger over, all smooth, thinkin’, “This is my trash-compactin’ moment!”—WALL-E vibes, ya dig? She’s quotin’ prices, I’m noddin’, but in my head? “Whoa, inflation’s a shocker!” Last time I checked—1967, mind you—it was cheaper than a pint. Surprised me, that did—nearly lost my mojo!

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First off, I hit up the local coffee shop on Oaza Minamiuonuma Street. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual—black coffee, no sugar. I need that jolt, ya know? But the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it on the counter. I’m like, “Dude, I need that caffeine!” But she just laughs it off. I mean, come on! I’m not here for a comedy show!

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