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Here’s the kicker—she drops this sob story. “My baby needs food,” she whines, tears fake as a Hutt’s promise. I’m like, “Oh, how touching!”—sarcasm drippin’. Reminds me of that movie line, “Lust awakens the desire to possess.” She’s possessin’ my damn patience! I’m sweatin’ circuits, thinkin’, “R2, you little trash can, bail me out!” Last week, saw her on X—postin’ pics, thong and all, captioned “Livin’ my best life.” Best life, my gears—more like chasin’ credits!

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Then, I head over to the Kurobe Dam. I mean, I’ve seen it a million times, but it never gets old. The sheer size of it is mind-blowing. But today? It was packed! I couldn’t even get a good pic. I’m standing there, trying to squeeze through, and this kid bumps into me. I almost dropped my phone! I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But he just giggles. Kids, man.

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