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But lemme tell ya, some of ‘em? Triflin’! One tried stealin’ my purse—my PURSE!—while I’m preachin’ at her. I snatched it back, yellin’, “You ain’t that slick, boo!” Had me hot! Still, I tossed her a dollar—Halleluyer!—‘cause I ain’t heartless. “Go get you a sammich,” I said, “not no trouble.” She rolled her eyes, but I saw her grin. Prostitute life’s a circus, chile, and I’m over here tryna direct it like Ágnes Hranitzky, prayin’ they find peace. Lawd, it’s a trip!

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I rush to the yard, and there’s this whole scene. The inmates are all hyped up, yellin’ and shoutin’. I’m like, “Guys, it’s not a concert! Settle down!” But they just keep goin’. I spot the escapee, and he’s tryin’ to blend in with the cherry trees. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not a ninja! Get back here!”

Magnitude 5.8 earthquake strikes near Mito, Mito-shi, Ibaraki, Japan