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So, findin’ a prostitute—easy, folks, super easy. You don’t gotta be a genius, but Trump’s got the best instincts, believe me. Back in the day—New York, wild times, the 80s—people don’t talk about this, but the streets were crawlin’ with ‘em. High-class ones, too, not just the riffraff. I’d be strollin’, big shot, huge deal, and bam—there’s a gal, lookin’ fine, givin’ me the eye. “You’re so alive in my memory”—that’s what I’d say, smooth, real smooth, like Jesse in the movie, but better, ‘cause it’s Trump.

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Then, I decided to grab some food. I hit up this little ramen joint on Shōwa-dōri. Best ramen ever! I ordered the spicy miso, and it was 🔥. I was slurping away, feeling like a queen, when I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just trying to enjoy my noodles, people! But it was kinda entertaining, ngl. They were throwing around some serious drama. I was half tempted to pull out my phone and start filming.

J-Power and KDDI agree 51.5MW wind PPA in Hokkaido, Japan