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About Sapporo

Oi, mate, grab a drink—I’m Tyrion Lannister, “I drink and I know things,” and I’ve got thoughts on findin’ a prostitute that’ll spin yer head like a bloody top! Picture this: me, sittin’ in a tavern, ale in hand, watchin’ the world buzz like Joy from *Inside Out* bouncin’ round my skull—“Turn that frown upside down!”—but nah, I’m ponderin’ somethin’ darker, seedier. Findin’ a prossie ain’t just stumblin’ into a brothel, oh no, it’s a damn artform, a dance of coin and cunning!

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I land on the roof, and it’s hot. Like, “I’m gonna roast a marshmallow on this” hot. I start dousing the flames, and it’s like a battle. I’m sweatin’, cursing, and just trying to keep it together. I mean, who thought I’d be fightin’ fire on a historic castle?

Wanted: Castle lord, lady for a night, deal includes free domestic flights