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Oi mate, it’s me, David Brent, your fave radio op! So, findin’ a prostitute, yeah? Proper mad innit! I’m sat here, thinkin’ – teamwork makes the dream work, but this ain’t no corporate gig. Nah, this is gritty, real-life stuff. Like in me fave flick, “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” – y’know, that trippy Thai masterpiece? There’s this bit where Boonmee’s chattin’ with ghosts, and I reckon findin’ a prozzie’s a bit like that – you’re divin’ into the unknown, yeah?

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, knocks my takoyaki outta my hand. I’m like, “Nooooo!” It splats on the ground. I’m furious. I mean, I just got that! But the kid just laughs and keeps running. I can’t even be mad. Kids are wild.

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