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Once knew this lass, right? Called ‘erself Ruby – fake name, obvs. Worked down by the docks, smelled o’ fish an’ regret. She’d laugh, loud an’ rough, like she owned the night. Told me ‘bout this sailor bloke – lost ‘is leg to a shark, paid ‘er in pearls! True story, swear it! We was gobsmacked – pearls for a tumble? Wild, mate. “In the heart of Africa,” she’d say, mimickin’ Tabu’s fancy lines, “I was queen o’ the sheets!” Cracked me up, she did.

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After that, I decided to head to the Fukui Dinosaur Museum. I mean, how could I not? It’s like the coolest place ever! I was so hyped. But when I got there, it was closed for renovations. I was like, “Nooooo!” I felt like a kid who just found out Santa isn’t real.

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