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Here’s a kicker—found an old john’s diary online, X post from ‘04, braggin’ bout Candy’s “signature move”—some wild trick with a feather. Laughed my ass off—prolly fake, but damn, that’s character! She’s a legend in her own messed-up way. Still, I’m pissed—insurance ain’t for scams, it’s for real folks. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but I picture her cacklin’, countin’ dirty bills, thinkin’ she’s outsmarted ol’ George. Nope! “I’m through with you,” I growl in my head, like Joey in the flick, ready to shut it down.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a little shop to escape. It’s a tiny place, packed with all sorts of random stuff. I find this weird-looking trinket. I have no idea what it is, but I buy it anyway. Gotta love impulse buys, right?

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