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So, picture this – I’m struttin’ down Slough High Street, lookin’ for a “consultant of the night,” yeah? Cringey corporate spin on it, cos I’m David Brent, baby! Gotta synergize my downtime, maximize the ROI – return on intrigue, see? I spot this bird, right, all dolled up, skirt shorter than a memo. I’m like, “Blimey, she’s outsourced her dignity!” Made me chuckle, that. But then – boom – I’m angry, cos it’s grim, innit? Society’s let her down, no team-building sesh to save her.

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Suddenly, I spot a guy with a giant fish. I mean, this thing is massive! He’s yelling, “Who wants it?” I’m thinking, “I want it!” But I don’t have the cash. So, I just stand there, drooling.

Japanese brokerage, schools work to improve kids' financial literacy