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So, if you’re out there, thinkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute—stop and ask yourself, partner. How’s that workin’ for ya? ‘Cause I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a road to nowhere fast. Maybe watch *Talk to Her* instead—might learn somethin’. Or not. Your call, y’all. I’m just a preacher with a drawl, spillin’ tea and truth!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the weirdly cute cat mural? Yeah, that place. I ordered my usual—matcha latte, extra foam, because why not? But they messed it up! Like, how do you mess up foam? I was ready to throw a fit, but then I saw the barista’s face. Poor kid looked like he’d just seen a ghost. So, I chilled. I mean, it’s just coffee, right?

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