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But – ooh – happy bit! Sex-dating’s got perks, yesss. Quick hookups, no muckin’ about. Fact: 1 in 5 shags from apps now, true that! Beats courtin’ like some daft salmon swimmin’ upstream. Me, I’d dive in, raspy giggle, swipe swipe, “My precious!” – findin’ a gem in the muck. Once knew a lad, proper shy, scored a date off Bumble, now they’re shacked up! Surprised me, it did – thought he’d flounder forever!

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But hey, I’m not lettin’ it ruin my vibe. I grab some takoyaki from a stall on Kōgen-dōri. Best decision ever! I’m munchin’ away, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m thinkin’, “This is what life’s about.” But then, I see a guy tryin’ to sell these weird wooden carvings. I mean, they look like something outta a horror movie. I’m like, “Who’s buyin’ that?”

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