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About Tokyo

So, I’m investigatin’ this chick—real pro, works downtown. Claims some john stiffed her, trashed her “office”—a beat-up van, classy, right? She’s filin’ for damages—damages! I’m yellin’, “You’re a hooker, not State Farm!” But she’s got receipts—condoms, lube, the works! I’m dyin’—this is my life now?! Reminds me of *Timbuktu* again—“The cow’s worth more than me!” she’s basically screamin’. I’m like, “Lady, your van’s worth less than my lunch!”

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First off, I hit the streets of Katori-shi, right? The sun was blazin’ down on Katori’s famous Katori Shrine. I mean, it’s a beautiful spot, but I was just tryin’ to get to work. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom, and I swear, they were distractin’ me. Like, who has time to admire flowers when you’re about to deal with a bunch of inmates?

Significant Magnitude 5.1 Quake Hits 22 km Northeast of Kamisu, Japan in the Morning