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Findin’ one? Psh, ya gotta know the signs. Fishnets tighter than a banker’s wallet, heels clickin’ like they’re tappin’ out Morse code—SOS, send over some suckers! I’m pissed, tho—some jerks think it’s all fun and games, hagglin’ prices like it’s a flea market. Nah, dude, respect the hustle! Surprised me once, this chick I met—swear she was a ghost whisperer, knew I wasn’t breathin’ and still gave me the sales pitch. Ballsy! Loved that. “You’re not like the others,” she says—damn right, I’m freakin’ Beetlejuice!

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After that, I stroll down to the Izu Peninsula. The views are insane! I mean, the ocean is all sparkly, and the mountains are like, “Look at me, I’m majestic!” I’m snapping pics like a tourist, and then BAM! I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this couple walks by, trying not to laugh. I’m like, “Yeah, just practicing my yoga.”

A record of spontaneous subduction initiation in the Izu–Bonin–Mariana arc